Flashback--October 1968: Wild Man Fischer's Merry-go-round

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(Hollywood)


As Stoney, Jeff, and I prowled the strip, we ran into Wild Man Fischer, clenching a tape recorder, one of those portable Juliettes, blasting a song from his new album An Evening with Wild Man Fischer.

He shoved it under my nose and shouted, “Hear my song?”

C’mon let’s merry go, merry go, merry go round! Boop boop boop!

Merry go, merry go, merry go round! Boop boop boop!

Merry go, merry go, merry go round! Boop boop boop!



Me and you can go merry go round!

It’s very easy, just go up and down!

C’mon, c’mon let’s merry go, merry go, merry go round! Boop boop boop!

–“Merry-Go-Round,” Wild Man Fischer

“Yes, Wild Man, we hear it.”

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Circle Song



hleaf

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“You like my song?”

“It’s a cool song.”

“You wanna buy it? Only ten cents.”

“Not today, Wild Man. Thanks, anyway.”

A pest, but harmless--probably a rich pest. He fit his name; he was manic, always wound up tight, fast like a fly or hummingbird. He even looked manic: eyes practically popping out of his head, his hair, black and frizzy, stuck out at all angles. He wore a loud yellow shirt with blobs of red, orange, and green, and flip flops, though, sometimes, only one, even when it was cold. Plus, he was constantly running around the strip with that tape recorder.

I’ve heard that he’d spent some time in a mental hospital.

“I’ll play it again,” he said, pushing the rewind button.

“That’s okay.” We inched away.

I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but he had a way of getting under your skin. And then he’d be off to the next group of freaks. They were all out tonight, unusual for a week night: Julius Caesar, drag queens, streetwalkers–a circus. We verbally sparred with Caesar, an old dude, his Roman soldier costume stolen from 20th Century Fox. He harassed tourists, the middle-aged straights who arrived on the strip decked out in Hawaiian shirts, Bermuda shorts, straw hats, and sunglasses, big clunky cameras around their necks, loud voices: “Hey, Herman, look at the dirty hippies.” Everyone was a dirty hippie because the straights couldn’t distinguish between groups that populate the strip.

Caesar yelled out his standard slogans: “LBJ is a necrophiliac; he digs dead dudes” and “All the way with LBJ; Lady Bird Johnson is a nymphomaniac.”

What a freak; his slogans angered many of the gawkers, who turned red.

Some even yelled back, “America: Love it or Leave it.”

Caesar paid no attention to the counter-yellers--like he was in a trance.

What a nark.

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Excerpt copyright 2008, Jennifer Semple Siegel.

Text may not be reposted or republished without permission.


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*
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Flashback--October 12, 1968: The Birthday Party

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(Hollywood)


Finally! My real birthday party.

When Eleanor and I arrived at Rudy’s, Pam was already there with her new old man, a tall, about 6'5", Indian dude, like from India, with wide shoulders and huge brown muscles.

“This is Draino,” Pam, barely five-foot, said, tucked under his arm.

Table of Contents for Memoir Madness: driven to involuntary commitment (Excerpts and Outtakes)

(Redirects to MemoirMadness.com)

Before the Institution

Prologue: Caged

Chapter One: The Crystal Ship

Chapter One: Blue Moons

Chapter Two: Dark Side

Chapter Two: Flying Solo

Chapter Two: Weed and Seeds

Chapter Two: Funny Little Naked Clowns

Chapter Two: Decision Time

Chapter Two: Thirteen Tabs

Chapter Three: Wallichs Music City and Eleanors Radio

Chapters Four and Six: New Years Eve, 1968 – Fire

Chapter Eight: Rudy

Chapter Ten: Cops

Chapter Eleven: The Luckiest Hand

Chapter Twelve: Downers

Chapter Twenty Three: Sioux City Blues

Chapter Twenty Four: ...“While I Kiss the Sky”

Chapter Twenty six: The Miracle of Google

Chapter Thirty: There Must be Some Way Outta Here

Chapter Thirty Eight: What to Do With My Life?

Chapter Forty One: My Country ‘Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Tyranny

Chapter Fifty One: Nabbed at the Bus Station

Chapter Fifty Three: “Let’s See What the Police Have to Say”

Chapter Fifty Four: A Possible Scenario at the Police Station

Chapter Fifty Six: Driven

Chapter Fifty Eight: Driven 2

 

The Institution

The First Five Days

The Other Patients: Perky Penny

The Other Patients: Carrie the Cutter

The Other Patients: Joyce

The Other Patients: D.J., The Mighty Sage

The Other Patients: Anna on the Lam

Proving My Sanity

 

After the Institution

Denise’s Tips

Leaving Sioux City: Dee Dee

Epilogue: A Short History of the Cherokee Mental Health Institute

 

Flashbacks (Fall 1968)

October 1968: Rev. Arthur Blessitt and His Place

October 12, 1968: A Mother’s Warning

October 12, 1968: The Birthday Party

October 1968: Wild Man Fischer’s Merry-go-round


Outtakes

Outtake: Jane and the YWCA

Outtake: San Francisco Municipal Railway Bus Transfer, 1968-1969

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Flashback--October 12, 1968: "A Mother's Warning"

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Mother in front of her Canoga Park Home (Late 1960's)
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(Hollywood)


Mother called about 2:00 a.m.

I grabbed the phone before it awakened everyone, including Mrs. Horton, that old busybody.




I knew it was Mom even before she spoke, the only person I know who calls in the middle of the night, rip roaring drunk.

Excerpt–October 1968: “Rev. Arthur Blessitt and His Place”

*
His Place, Late 1960's
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(Hollywood)


Jeff, Eleanor, Pam, and I were hanging out at Wallich’s, though not much happening.

Eleanor met up with Jim, her new guy, and split.

Before Pam, Eleanor and I had been getting close, but now we seemed to be pulling away. Maybe it was because she was still in high school... 

News Clip--October 19, 1968: Nixon Presidential Campaign

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Regional pacts...can prevent a local conflict from escalating into world war. The regional pact thus becomes a buffer separating the distant great powers from immediate threat–and the danger of a Social conflict escalating into world war is thereby reduced. A regional pact would provide a buffer between the United States and the Soviet Union in future flare-ups.


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drerxn
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New Text: 1968--The Year That Shaped a Generation

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Jennifer Semple, high school graduation picture (1968)
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For baby boomers, 1968 was a defining year, a year in which we, as a generation, lost our 1950's innocence. The assassinations of Martin Luther King and Robert F. Kennedy simply added another sickening dimension to President Kennedy's assassination four and a half years earlier.

President Kennedy had been assassinated at a time when, essentially, 1950's values were still in place and the shameful significance of the Viet Nam War was still unclear.

Jennifer and Olive Semple, June 5, 1968
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*

Posts moved to Memoir Madness: 

Outtake: 1968 –The Year that Shaped a Generation (Jennifer’s Viewpoint)

 

Outtake: 1968 –The Year that Shaped a Generation (Documentary)



News Clip--October 17, 1968: First Anniversary of "The October 17th Movement"

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Photo from alternet.org
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A year ago today (1967), “The October 17th Movement” was created by radical New York women dissatisfied with the increasing conservatism of the National Organization for Women (NOW). Their manifesto includes,

Radical feminism recognizes the oppression of women as a fundamental political oppression wherein women are categorized as an inferior class based upon their sex. It is the aim of radical feminism to organize politically to destroy this sex class system.

As radical feminists we recognize that we are engaged in a power struggle with men, and that the agent of our suppression is man insofar as he identifies with and carries out the supremacy privileges of the male role. For while we realize that the liberation of women will ultimately mean the liberation of men from their destructive role as oppressor, we have no illusion that men will welcome this liberation without a struggle....
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Ms. America, Up Against the Wall


Maisonpop93
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The oppression of women is manifested in particular institutions, constituted and maintained to keep women in their place. Among these are the institutions of marriage, motherhood, love and sexual intercourse (the family unit is incorporated by the above).
Source for Manifesto
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News Clip--October 16, 1968: Olympians Tommie Smith and John Carlos Give "Black Power" Salute

Public Domain Photo by Angelo Cozzi (Wikipedia)

During the Olympics awards ceremony for the 200 meter race, Tommie Smith (gold) and John Carlos (bronze) give the “black power” salute. 

Photo: Gold medalist Tommie Smith (center) and bronze medalist John Carlos (right) showing the raised fist on the podium after the 200 m race at the 1968 Summer Olympics; both wear Olympic Project for Human Rights badges. Peter Norman (silver medalist, left) from Australia also wears an OPHR badge in solidarity with Smith and Carlos. 


Source

Source
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Mexico City, 1968: Actual Footage From the 200m Final


Justinglewis

1. Tommie Smith (USA)
2. Peter Norman (AUS)
3. John Carlos (USA)



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News Clip--October 15, 1968: Cheap Thrills Album Goes Gold

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The Cheap Thrills album, by Big Brother and the Holding Company with Janis Joplin, goes gold. The album was released in August.


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"Summertime," Sung by Janis Joplin (Cheap Thrills Recording Session)



MantasiaHater says,

Janis and Big Brother and the Holding Company recording Summertime for their Columbia album Cheap Thrills. The album was released in late 1968 and sold over one million copies that year. Shortly after the release of Cheap Thrills, Janis left the band to pursue a solo career in music.

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News Clip--October 14, 1968: Beatles Wrap Up Recording the White Album

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***Video removed because it was taken down on Youtube***
Go directly to Youtube for another version:



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The last recording session for The Beatles White Album wraps up, after John Lennon records the 32nd and final song, “Julia,” He tapes it alone, twice singing to his acoustic guitar accompaniment, this song the only one released by The Beatles on which John performs alone.

Source 1

Source 2

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News Clip--October 14, 1968: Apollo 7 Astronauts Broadcast From Space

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Left to right: Eisele, Schirra, Cunningham
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The first live telecast from space is broadcast from Apollo 7. Astronauts Walter Schirra, Donn Eisele, and Walter Cunningham give a tour of the inside of the Apollo 7 spacecraft and show views through the windows.

Source 1

Source 2
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News Clip--October 12, 1968: Mexico City Olympics Opening Ceremony

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Nineteenth Olympic games open at Mexico City, Mexico. Norma Enriqueta Basilio Satelo is the first woman to light Olympic flame.

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News Clip--October 11, 1968: Revolution in Panama

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Dr. Arnulfo Arias Madrid, elected president for the third time and twice ousted by the Panamanian military, is again ousted (for the third time) as president by the National Guard after only 10 days in office.


A military junta government is established, and the commander of the National Guard, Brig. Gen. Omar Torrijos, emerges as the principal power in Panamanian political life.


Torrijos' regime is harsh and corrupt, and will have to confront the mistrust of the people and guerrillas backing the populist Arnulfo Arias. However, he is a charismatic leader whose populist domestic programs and nationalist foreign policy appeals to the rural and urban constituencies largely ignored by the oligarchy.

Source (text and photos): Wikipedia

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News Clip--October 11, 1968: Apollo 7 Launch

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Apollo 7 Launch (NASA, Public Domain Photo)
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Apollo 7 launches, carrying Walter Schirra, Jr., Donn Eisele, and Walter Cunningham.


The spacecraft makes 163 orbits in 260 hours.

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Apollo 7: Oct. 11, 1968


momo2007x
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Mission Highlights

Apollo 7 was a confidence-builder. After the January 1967 Apollo launch pad fire, the Apollo command module had been extensively redesigned. Schirra, who would be the only astronaut to fly Mercury, Gemini and Apollo missions, commanded this Earth-orbital shakedown of the command and service modules. Since it was not carrying a lunar module, Apollo 7 could be launched with the Saturn IB booster rather than the much larger and more powerful Saturn V. Schirra wanted to give Apollo 7 the callsign "Phoenix" (the mythical bird rising from its own ashes) in memory of the loss of the Apollo 1 crew, but NASA management was against the idea.

The Apollo hardware and all mission operations worked without any significant problems, and the Service Propulsion System (SPS), the all-important engine that would place Apollo in and out of lunar orbit, made eight nearly perfect firings.


Apollo 7 in space (NASA, Public Domain Photo
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Even though Apollo's larger cabin was more comfortable than Gemini's, eleven days in orbit took its toll on the astronauts. The food was bad, and Schirra developed a cold. As a result, he became irritable with requests from Mission Control and all three began "talking back" to the Capcom. An early example was this exchange after Mission Control requested that a TV camera be turned on in the capsule:

SCHIRRA: You've added two burns to this flight schedule, and you've added a urine water dump; and we have a new vehicle up here, and I can tell you this point TV will be delayed without any further discussion until after the rendezvous.

CAPCOM: Roger. Copy.

SCHIRRA: Roger.

CAPCOM: Apollo 7 This is CAP COM number 1.

SCHIRRA: Roger.

CAPCOM: All we've agreed to do on this is flip it.

SCHIRRA: ... with two commanders, Apollo 7.

CAPCOM: All we have agreed to on this particular pass is to flip the switch on. No other activity is associated with TV; I think we are still obligated to do that.

SCHIRRA: We do not have the equipment out; we have not had an opportunity to follow setting; we have not eaten at this point. At this point, I have a cold. I refuse to foul up our time lines this way. ("Apollo 7 Air-to-Ground Voice Transcript," pp.117-118) Warning: HUGE download.
Exchanges such as this would lead to the crew members being passed over for future missions. ("Encyclopedia Astronautica") But the mission successfully proved the space-worthiness of the basic Apollo vehicle.

Goals for the mission included the first live television broadcast from an American spacecraft (Gordon Cooper had broadcast slow scan television pictures from Faith 7 in 1963) and testing the lunar module docking maneuver.

First orbit: perigee 231 km, apogee 297 km, period 89.78 min, inclination 31.63 deg., weight: CSM 14,781 kg.

The splashdown point was 27 deg 32 min N, 64 deg 04 min W, 200 nautical miles (370 km) SSW of Bermuda and 13 km (8 mi) north of the recovery ship USS Essex.

For nearly 30 years the Apollo 7 module was on loan (renewable every two years) to the National Museum of Science and Technology of Canada, in Ottawa, along with the space suit worn by Wally Schirra. In November 2003 the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C. requested them back for display at their new annex at the Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center. Currently, the Apollo 7 CM is on loan to the Frontiers of Flight Museum located next to Love Field in Dallas, Texas.

Apollo 7 was the only manned Apollo launch to take place from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station's Launch Complex 34, as all subsequent Apollo (including Apollo-Soyuz) and Skylab missions were launched from Launch Complex 39 at the nearby Kennedy Space Center.

As of 2008, Cunningham is the only surviving member of the crew. Eisele died in 1987 and Schirra in 2007.

Mission insignia

The insignia for the flight showed a command and service module with its SPS engine firing, the trail from that fire encircling a globe and extending past the edges of the patch symbolizing the Earth-orbital nature of the mission. The Roman numeral VII appears in the South Pacific Ocean and the crew's names appear on a wide black arc at the bottom.

Capsule location

The Apollo 7 Command Module is on display at the Frontiers of Flight Museum, Dallas, Texas

Depiction in fiction

Portions of the Apollo 7 mission are dramatized in the miniseries From the Earth to the Moon episode entitled "We Have Cleared the Tower."



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Outtake: Letter from Hollywood to Cynthia*

*
Jennifer and Olive Semple, June 5, 1968, the day that Jennifer left for Hollywood.
____________________________________________________________

I can only imagine what Cynthia must have thought when she read the letter.

Was she alarmed?

Did she think, “I don’t know this Jennifer; this isn’t the slightly kooky Jennifer I grew up with. This is a wild, rambling Jennifer, who’s into illicit drugs and indiscriminate sex.”

So it seemed.

But much of that letter was exaggerated, hyped to present a persona invented not to inform but to impress.

Cynthia was not impressed; she was terrified at what she thought I had become and turned the letter over to my grandmother, Olive Semple.

Post moved to MemoirMadness.com


New Text--LSD: Effects, Flashbacks, and "Fractal Patterning"

*

Thursday, October 24, 1968

Congress passed Public Law 90-639, also known as the Staggers-Dodd Bill, increasing penalties for the illicit manufacture and distribution of three classes of drugs to a fine up to $10,000 and/or imprisonment up to five years. Manufacturing and distributing illicit stimulants, depressants, and/or hallucinogens was now a felony, under this new law (DrugLibrary.com).

Before this 1968 legislation, under the Drug Abuse Control Amendments (DACA) of 1965, manufacture and sale were regarded as misdemeanors punishable by up to one year in jail or $1,000 fine, or both; however, before this law, no penalty was imposed for the personal use of LSD, for use by members of the household, or for administration to animals belonging to the household. The manner in which the drug was acquired did not affect the legality of its possession, except in California (DrugLibrary.org), where on October 6, 1966, personal use of LSD had been criminalized (Levity.com).

The popular media had continued to portray horrors allegedly associated with “acid” and “bad trips,” pressuring President Johnson to press for strengthening ineffectual drug laws. When the 90th Congress convened early in 1968, the White House warned that this newest category of drugs “threaten(s) our nation’s health, vitality, and self-respect,” and declared that law enforcement efforts were hampered because penalties for LSD transactions were too low. So Congress responded by enacting Public Law 90-639 (rhodium.ws).


I arrived on the drug scene late in the game; I had missed the loopy 1967 Summer of Love (I was only 16 then) and the early "Magic Bus" days when drug possession was a misdemeanor.

*

But I made up for lost time: in early December 1968, I moved into 2001 Ivar Street, Apartment #12, with Stoney, a hardcore drug user and dealer.

He had borrowed a truck from a friend, and we transported my meager belongings, mostly clothes and records, into the apartment complex filled with hippies, drug dealers, and prostitutes.

Stoney’s drug use escalated; he would often drop several tabs of acid at once, and he started shooting up heroin. I was quite frightened when he picked up three speed freaks from the street and invited them to the apartment, where they stayed for about a week.

Stoney continued using hard drugs. For the next few weeks, we all partied hard, but I was beginning to have misgivings about all the drugs; I was scared for Stoney, that he was going to OD and die, leaving me alone in an apartment filled with grass, LSD, Bennies, and heroin (which I refused to use).

Also, he invited more unsavory users to crash at the apartment; these new creeps were beyond hippiedom and into hardcore drugs.

These were men who would kill for their dope.

I began experiencing some strange trips--if not exactly bad ones--the flashbacks scary and unpredictable. The loss of control frightened me; the idea that once an acid trip was over, it was over, proved to be false.

In fact, for five years after my last trip, I would experience flashbacks, which eventually lessened into glimpses of "fractal patterning" of ordinary objects (more on this later).

Even without knowing about the specific dangers of taking LSD, I decided, on my own, to stop using. I had good reason: lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), discovered in 1938, is one the most powerful mood-changing hallucinogens. The drug is manufactured from lysergic acid, found on the ergot fungus, which grows on grains. As of 2003, LSD samples gathered from the street range from 20-80 micrograms per dose, but the 1960's-1970's dosage ranged from 100-200 micrograms. Quality control, always problematic with illicit drugs, was particularly iffy in the late 1960's; dropping acid just once involved risking a psychotic break or overdose. According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA), a branch of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), LSD is unpredictable:
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2001: A Space Odyssey with Pink Floyd--"One of These Days"



fredy3
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[Effects] depend on the amount taken; the user’s personality, mood, and expectations; and the surroundings in which the drug is used. Usually, the user feels the first effects of the drug 30 to 90 minutes after taking it. The physical effects include dilated pupils, higher body temperature, increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, dry mouth, and tremors.

Sensations and feelings change much more dramatically than the physical signs. The user may feel several different emotions at once or swing rapidly from one emotion to another. If taken in a large enough dose, the drug produces delusions and visual hallucinations. The user’s sense of time and self changes. Sensations may seem to “cross over,” giving the user the feeling of hearing colors and seeing sounds. These changes can be frightening and can cause panic.

Users refer to their experience with LSD as a “trip” and to acute adverse reactions as a “bad trip.” These experiences are long–typically they begin to clear after about 12 hours.

Some LSD users experience severe, terrifying thoughts and feelings, fear of losing control, fear of insanity and death, and despair while using LSD. Some fatal accidents have occurred during states of LSD intoxication.

Many LSD users experience flashbacks, recurrence of certain aspects of a person’s experience, without the user having taken the drug again. A flashback occurs suddenly, often without warning, and may occur within a few days or more than a year after LSD use. Flashbacks usually occur in people who use hallucinogens chronically or have an underlying personality problem; however, otherwise healthy people who use LSD occasionally may also have flashbacks. Bad trips and flashbacks are only part of the risks of LSD use. LSD users may manifest relatively long-lasting psychoses, such as schizophrenia or severe depression. It is difficult to determine the extent and mechanism of the LSD involvement in these illnesses.
Although I had never experienced a truly “bad trip,” I had felt, during my trips, flashes of paranoia.


I had heard about the anecdotal accounts of users jumping out of windows because “God told them to” and getting into accidents because of impaired state.

Also, there were rumors of possible chromosome damage to the reproductive system, resulting in birth defects. According to Healthatoz.com, LSD has been “associated with arm and leg abnormalities and central nervous system problems in infants.”

However, these findings are inconclusive because other factors can contribute to birth defects, such as other illicit drugs, poor nutrition, and lack of prenatal care, often associated with chronic drug abusers (Healthatoz.com).

I was aware of possible chromosome damage to any future children. In mid-April (1969), just before my release from the mental institution, I wrote to Jeff,

I don’t believe that bullshit about acid wrecking chromosomes, and even if it were true, neither of us have dropped enough acid to make any great physical changes.
If these factors were not enough to make me stop using LSD, a life-changing event on New Year’s Eve, 1968, would inform the way I saw the world and also set me on a path of sobriety, in terms of drug use. Faced with two choices that fateful night, I had no way of knowing which was the right choice.

Several years would pass before I could appreciate the metaphysical qualities of choosing one split-second act over another and how each would have taken me in diametrically opposed directions, perhaps, in one instance, permanent injury or even death. Although I have fictionalized this event in my short story collection, I have decided to include the true account in the memoir.

Even after that New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, I still loved Stoney and wanted to work at our relationship. He was my first serious boyfriend, my first consensual sexual relationship.

Then Stoney pulled himself together and announced that he was going to New York to sell 500 tabs of acid at a huge profit.

I was devastated.

At that time, LSD was fairly cheap on the west coast, but expensive in the east.

He sewed the 500 tabs into the lining of his coat, and kissed her goodbye. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”

I never saw him again.

In a chain of fast-moving events, I left Hollywood; returned to Sioux City, Iowa (at my grandfather's urging); and ended up in the Cherokee Mental Health Hospital in Iowa.

Even after I decided to quit, my relationship with LSD (acid) was complicated: I both loved and hated it and vacillated between wanting to use again and being repelled by the very idea (my last trip had been in late December 1968).

I understood that street acid was a risky and dicey proposition and that I needed to avoid its further use, but I was intrigued with the possibility of using it under a controlled situation or even creating a "drugless-induced" acid experience. In late February 1969, while I was in Cherokee, I wrote the following:

Acid, under the right conditions and dosage, might be an outasite experience, with an expert, like Timothy Leary, watching over you and monitoring your trip so that you don’t take a wrong turn. But no more street acid–ever. I like everything about the hippie life except the drugs; maybe there’s a way to create a commune without drugs, just the beauty of love and nature. Or maybe there’s a way to recreate the psychedelic experience with music, colorful posters, black lights, and Strobes. Maybe Jeff [Brown, my new boyfriend and future husband] and I can set up a “psychedelic room” in our apartment.
Yet in March 1969, I wrote,

The flashbacks are getting worse; I don’t dig them any more--I feel so helpless when they just pop up. It’s like having a nosy aunt coming to visit, and she’s the last person in the world you want to stop by unannounced. A friend here knows someone who can give me some Thorazine, to help bring me down, but I don’t want to mess with any kind of drug, legal or illegal--especially illegal. Too scary. If I got caught with an non-prescribed drug, I would never get out of here--they might as well throw me into the rubber room with Carrie [another Cherokee patient]. I used to think acid offered some insights and opportunities for self-discovery, but I think that’s just a myth, at least when you use street acid. Maybe in controlled circumstances, a shrink close by and the right setting, but, even then, it’s risky.
I also had a natural aversion to psychiatric drugs; my research reveals that I had reason to be wary, for mental institutions were still places were problematic people were warehoused and routinely drugged. In 1954, the drug Thorazine, a drug mentioned by my street friends and other Cherokee patients, was embraced by mental hospitals all over the world because of its profound tranquilizing effects (Psychiatric Drugs: Thorazine).

Other drugs prescribed then included antidepressants, such as iproniazid (an MAOI developed in 1956), imipramine (a tricylcic anti-depressant), valproic acid and carbamazepine (both mood stablizers), and ibogaine (for withdrawal symptoms). Lithium, of course, was an old standby (Psychiatric Drug).

Dr. Mariano Favis, my psychiatrist, agreed, at my request, not to prescribe any drugs; perhaps he had already come to that conclusion himself, given that I had been designated as a “screening center patient” (which I did not know at the time).

My hospital records suggest a fairly normal 18-year-old girl with some self-image problems and anger issues, but not someone who would benefit from the psychiatric drugs of the day.

A few days later, I complained that my flashbacks were getting worse:

They're driving me nuts. Last night, I just gave up and went to bed early. Felt better this morning. I asked Dr. Favis about the possibility of taking Thorazine, just to “eliminate the LSD from my body.”

“You don’t need it–you’re handling the flashbacks very well,” he said. “Besides, you’re the one who wanted to avoid all drugs.”

He’s right, of course; we made a deal that I would do this without psychiatric drugs.
In a late March 1969 letter, Jeff encouraged me to continue finding my bliss without acid:

...Acid destroys everything and holds the mind supreme. You destroyed acid--so you must want something tangible to cling to. Obviously, you do not want to live for your mind alone--something must be held higher or equal to your mind.

Dope gives you a world that is yours to command. You, and no one else, can share it. If you would want to enter the world of others, you must give, also, of your own private world. Yet you must keep some of it to yourself.
In early April 1969, I wrote:

...Acid does not make you smarter than you already are--it just fucks you up--and, as for insights? I don’t know. Timothy Leary and Ken Kesey seem to think acid can enhance your view on the world, but I don’t think they were talking about street acid.


Earlier I mentioned "Fractal Patterning," which is a way of viewing ordinary objects and surfaces as geometrics. LSD seems to enhance this ability to see geometric patterns in ordinary objects. For example, for about five years after dropping my last tab of acid, I could look into a bowl of sugar and see shimmering snowflake and other geometric patterns.



For the first year or so, I would often see colorful paisleys and amoebas floating by. When I gave birth to my son 18 months after my last trip, the anesthesia caused me to hallucinate a bright yellow wash of color with huge purple floating dots.

Even now, almost four decades later, if I concentrate hard, I can still conjure up a pattern in certain surfaces (snow and sugar mostly).

This suggests that LSD use can result in permanent neural changes (although I'm not a scientist and have done no formal experiments). I hesitate to call it "neural damage" because I'm not in any way impaired (though some past LSD users may have been).

Also, I have experienced synesthesia (letter/number and color pairing) my entire life, so I may be prone to seeing patterns anyway. Or I may have been naturally attracted to hallucinogens because of wanting to enhance the synesthesia experience. I can't say for sure because I don't remember not being a synesthete.

I'm always curious if other past LSD users have experienced continuing flashbacks and/or "fractal patterning."

Feel free to post a comment.

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Copyright 2008, Jennifer Semple Siegel.

Text may not be reposted or republished without permission from author.


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News Clip--October 10, 1968: The Catonsville Nine Found Guilty of Burning 10,000 Selective Service Files

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The Rev. Philip Berrigan pouring blood on draft records at Selective Service headquarters to protest the "pitiful waste of American and Vietnamese blood" in Southeast Asia. (AP/Wide World Photos.)
__________________________________________________________________


All nine members of The Catonsville Nine, a group of Catholic activists against the Vietnam War, were found guilty today of storming a Baltimore (Maryland) suburb Selective Service Office and burning over 10,000 files.

During the trial, which started on October 5,
Philip Berrigan testified that his moral opposition to the Vietnam War led him to participate in the Catonsville incident:

"We have been accused of arrogance, but what of the fantastic arrogance of our leaders? What of their crimes against the people, the poor and the powerless? Still, no court will try them, no jail will receive them. They live in righteousness. They will die in honor. For them we have one message, for those in whose manicured hands the power of the land lies. We say to them: lead us. Lead us in justice and there will be no need to break the law."

After less than two hours of deliberation, the jury returned a verdict of guilty against the nine defendants. Philip Berrigan and another defendant were sentenced to 3½ years in prison, Daniel Berrigan and two other defendants were sentenced to three years in prison, and the remaining four defendants received two-year sentences.

U.S. v. Berrigan: 1968 - Philip And Daniel Berrigan Stand Trial
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The Catonsville Nine: Homemade Napalm and Fire



On May 17, 1968, nine people walked into a Selective Service Office, took hundreds of draft files from a cabinet, took them outside, doused them with homemade napalm and burned them in the name of peace.

jakem0545
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The Catonsville Nine (Photos and Profiles):
Philip Berrigan
Daniel Berrigan
David Darst
John Hogan
Tom Lewis
Marjorie Melville
Thomas Melville
George Mische
Mary Moylan
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News Clip--October 9, 1968: John Lennon's Birthday

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Beatle John Lennon turns 28 today.

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All You Need is Love -- The Beatles

and

All You Need is Love (38-second clip) -- The Beatles


In this recording session of "All You Need is Love," John Lennon, lead singer, is accompanied by a full orchestra, in front of a small audience.

In the 38-second clip, though, don't blink; otherwise, you'll miss a glimpse of a young (and already famous) Mick Jagger grooving.

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News Clip--October 8, 1968: Paramount Pictures Releases Romeo and Juliet

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Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet is released today by Paramount Pictures. A drama/romance, this film stars Leonard Whiting, Olivia Hussey, John McEnery, Milo O'Shea, Robert Stephens, and Michael York. More

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Romeo and Juliet Movie Trailer



madameblue
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News Clip--October 7, 1968: New Movie Rating System

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Motion Picture Association of America adopts film rating system, ranging from “G” to “X.” More
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A Tribute to Jack Valenti, creator of the Motion Picture Association of America's Rating System

News Clip--October 6, 1968: First Anniversary of a Mock Funeral Noted and Homosexual Minister Holds First Worship Service

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A year ago today (October 6, 1968), Haight-Ashbury hippies threw a funeral to mark the end of hippies.
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"San Francisco" (Scott McKenzie)



trevnasty

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On October 6, 1967 dozens of mourners gathered in the panhandle of Golden Gate Park in San Francisco to mark the death of Hippie, an imaginary character killed off by overexposure and rampant commercialism. A broadside distributed at the event stated, "H/Ashbury was portioned to us by Media-Police and the tourists came to the Zoo to see the captive animals and we growled fiercely behind the bars we accepted and now we are no longer hippies and never were." More

and

Rev. Troy Perry held the first worship service today of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (UFMCC), a congregation made up of homosexuals. Twelve worshipers gathered in his home in Huntington Park, California, at 1:30 p.m. A confrontation last summer between the L.A.P.D. and some men at The Patch, a homosexual dance bar in Wilmington, across the river from Long Beach and south of Los Angeles, prompted Rev. Perry to start his ministry.

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Excerpt--New Year's Eve, 1968: "Fire"

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(Hollywood, California)

The window opens to the freeway. As the sun slips behind a hill, I lean forward and breathe in. The air, still unseasonably warm, foreshadows a chill, the specter of the diminishing year only hours away.

2001 Ivar Street, our space odyssey.

Excerpt moved to Memoir Madness

News Clip--October 4, 1968: Hewlett-Packard Advertises a Desktop Computer

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Today’s issue of Science advertises a new type of computer:

“The new Hewlett-Packard 9100A personal computer is ready, willing, and able...to relieve you of waiting to get on the big computer.” The $4,900 device, designed to sit on a desk top, weighs 40 pounds and is equipped with magnetic cards. This machine does scientific calculations.

From Wikipedia:

The Hewlett-Packard 9100A is an early computer/calculator, first appearing in 1968. HP called it a desktop calculator because, as Bill Hewlett said, "If we had called it a computer, it would have been rejected by our customers' computer gurus because it didn't look like an IBM. We therefore decided to call it a calculator, and all such nonsense disappeared." An engineering triumph at the time, the logic circuit was produced without any integrated circuits, the assembly of the CPU having been entirely executed in discrete components. With CRT readout, magnetic card storage, and printer, the price was around $5000.


The 9100A was the first scientific calculator by the modern definition (i.e. trig, log/ln, and exponential functions), and was the beginning of Hewlett-Packard's long history of using reverse Polish notation entry on their calculators.

Wikipedia GNU Free Documentation License

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"Jennifer Juniper," Donovan Leitch, 1968 (YouTube)

Jefferson Airplane

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Jefferson Airplane: "White Rabbit" and "Somebody to Love"

Jefferson Airplane performing live both "White Rabbit" and "Somebody to Love" on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. More
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